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Ed and Mark at Three Forks, MT
August 2008 |
EULOGY given at Mark's funeral by his friend, Leslie Miller
Mark and I were in the first grade together at Solis-Cohen Elementary School (in Philadelphia.) Mark did not know me then or for many years, but we all knew him, because by the time Mark finished the first grade, his father had died.
Mark was one of the bright lights in our class. The history teachers, in particular, realized he knew more than they did. He would gently correct the teachers on a misstatement of historical fact. We all knew Mark in high school as he received a 1539 on his college boards, the only student in our class to receive a perfect "800" in the English SATs. He also took two achievements and received perfect "800's" in American history and European history. He won the most prestigious scholarship to college given by the City of Philadelphia – The Mayor's Scholarship-- 4 years to the University of Pennsylvania.
Mark had many loves in his life.
He loved Philadelphia. He never ran out of historical places to visit in our great city. It was appropriate that he was born here, as he could explore as a starting point some of the most momentous events in our American history in his own back yard. History became his passion in life.
He loved to read and he was close to the Free Library so he could get books to read as a kid. His knowledge was breathtaking. He read the encyclopedia before he was 10. He had a unbelievable memory and was a stickler for the facts. When he was a boy, he could not afford to buy a book. When he started to earn money, he could actually buy books and bring them home, and he had the greatest joy of being able to keep them. He knew as much as possible about the lives of historical figures and every aspect of the major battles of the Civil War in astounding detail. We went to Gettysburg together and I had my own personal guide.
One day he mentioned to me that many people at the PBGC (Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation) would come into his office and check with him about questions relating to American History. He asked me why they did that. I was laughing and told him "Because you know the answers." He went to Ford's Theater in Washington and there was an historical error in information given to the public. He reported this to the museum who replied that it had been there for 20 years and no one had complained. This frustrated him, totally. He read non-fiction and he would write to the authors and point out discrepancies.
He loved taking trips. He started taking trips across the United States and the world and seeing all the places, both well-known and obscure that he knew from books.
He never got over the fact that he was able to go on all these trips because he had never imagined as a boy that he could have afforded them.
He loved undergraduate Penn. He loved Penn so much that it is beyond my ability to explain. His law school experience at Penn was difficult but it never diminished his love for Penn.
He loved politics. He is missing the final days of this incredible campaign which he would have relished and he will not know of its historical outcome.
He loved the Philadelphia Phillies and the game of baseball. It is unbelievable that the Phillies are playing in the World Series to after so many years and he will not be here to participate.
He had many loves in his life and he loved me. On May 28, 1969, my seventeenth birthday, the day of our senior high school class trip, he noticed me for the first time as we stood across from each other, across a ping pong table at the Mount Airy Pocono Lodge. We were two very awkward kids. Throughout the years, we saw each other, sometimes for a few years and then there were gaps and we saw each other again.
After my separation and then divorce, Mark was there again-always supportive, always good, always loyal. He could let himself relax a bit with me. We went to the movies and ate out and he was finally able to treat me as we had always gone dutch-treat. Many times we watched movies on my VCR at my mother's home. One memorable time we watched Jurassic park, I for the first time, and he for the second time. I can't explain it, but when that Tyrannosaurus Rex was chasing the jeep filled with the movie's heroes, I found this so surreal that I was roaring with laughter. It was so contagious that he was laughing and laughing. It was a joyful moment for us and he let himself be free.
He loved his mother and she was the most important person in his life. I am so glad that she is not alive to see this day.
He grew up as one of the poorest in our class. He never complained about those days.
He grew up with no uncles, no aunts nor first cousins. They only had each other.
He grew up with ethics and morals, honesty, loyalty, decency, kindness.
He was determined to change his life from his earliest days and be able to do the things that mattered to him.
No one was prouder of him than his mother who was his greatest supporter.
The teenagers who destroyed his life did not know Mark had grown up as poor as them. They did not know that he had grown up without a father, with no family except his mother. They did not know that nothing was handed to him. They did not know that he was gentle and kind. They did not care. They took him from us and there was no better man. I am grateful for the time we spent together. I am grateful to him for how he treated me and for his love. I love you, Mark.
Goodbye, my Sweet Mark.
Love,
Leslie
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